Honey Don't!

My most underrated joy in life is finding a new piece of 1970s lesploitation (for the uninitiated, lesbian exploitation) cinema to obsess over. Yes, the majority of these films are the epitome of niche, rarely above average, and filled to the brim with problems in their content, representation, and writing. But as a woman who loves women, camp, and transgressive cinema, there is no genre more enjoyable to me than the one revolving around beautiful women seducing other women (and usually killing men!) in a movie with sex and violence as its foundation and actual plot as slight support. If you asked me to choose between watching one of Jess Franco’s endless features where a seemingly heterosexual woman is introduced to the world of debauchery by a proud lesbian with a killer/vampiric/demonic secret or a prestigious piece of the cinematic canon, I would choose the Franco every single time.

Simultaneously, if you asked me who my current contemporary actress obsession is, my answer would be none other than Margaret Qualley. She is easily the most old school, bona fide movie star of her generation. I understand that many dislike her collaborations with Ethan Coen and Tricia Cooke, but it is impossible for me to not enjoy a series of movies paying homage to B movies and lesploitation flicks starring one of our most promising actresses. Despite its lukewarm reception by critics and audiences alike, I truly love Drive-Away Dolls, the first film in this planned trilogy. Though it may not be profound, it is a hilarious and horny film that stars Qualley in her funniest performance to date. Its follow-up, Honey Don’t!, has even more negativity surrounding it, but I believe that its critics are simply unfamiliar with what the genre entails. 

In Honey Don’t!, Qualley plays the titular Honey, a womanizing private investigator investigating a series of murders connected to a sleazy priest (Chris Evans). Reverend Drew Devlin is just as much of a womanizer as Honey; despite his priestly vows, his body count is high. The ensemble is rounded out by a cop named MG (Aubrey Plaza) who Honey becomes involved with sexually, Honey’s baby sister Corinne (Talia Ryder), and Honey’s colleague Marty (Charlie Day) who does not quite understand what a lesbian is. Though the premise of the film revolves around grisly crime, much of its runtime has us laughing with the women in this film and laughing at the men.

The plot gets put on the back burner in favor of the film’s humor and sexuality, but this is a stylistic choice that pays homage to its genre. Lesploitation flicks do not have coherent plots, clear-cut character motivations, or genius scripts! It is somewhat baffling to see people watching a movie that markets itself as a lesbian B movie and expecting anything other than a lesbian B movie. If you are looking to watch a movie where everything comes together perfectly and every plotline has meaning, this is not where you’ll find it. I honestly do not understand blaming the film for not being a movie it never claimed to be.

The humor and sexuality of Honey Don’t! are interlinked, and while it may not be as explicit as the risqué films it emulates, there is an undeniable sensuality to Honey’s character. There is nothing sexier than Qualley and Plaza’s dynamic, and there is nothing funnier than a cut to Honey cleaning off her sex toys after intercourse. Honey’s irresistible flirtation also makes an interesting parallel to Devlin’s sleaziness as he takes advantage of various women. They are both certainly womanizers, but Honey is an ethical one. 

However, anyone expecting a deep introspection about the church or an extensive thriller with twists and turns galore is sure to be disappointed. In these B movies, the murder mystery is more of a backdrop than a tone setter that culminates in a whodunnit. It is immediately obvious what Devlin’s involvement in the crimes are: the fun of that character is in watching him be a sleaze, not in deciphering whether or not he is a killer. The “reveal” has also seemingly left people unsatisfied, but there is no lespoitation film without a femme fatale. It may be a bit dumb, but it is a staple of the genre.

Also a staple of the genre is a captivating female lead, which movie star Qualley nails to a T. Her smile alone oozes more charisma than most actors could dream of. Every line she delivers in her silly accent borders on the funniest thing I have ever heard, even if the line is not especially funny. She has natural chemistry with every actor she interacts with; Honey’s lust for MG and her distaste for Marty make every scene she shares with either character compelling. Truly, her banter is the best part of the film. When Honey Don’t! understands and leans into its genre, Qualley is able to go all-in on crude jokes and fully embody Honey’s dirtbag sensuality. 

I will admit that any other plotline outside of the investigation or Honey’s sex life falls a bit flat. Talia Ryder is a brilliant actress who gives a great performance here, but her storyline was not entirely necessary. However, I think her inclusion is an overall net positive since the soundtrack provides two new additions to her discography and has allowed her to further develop her lesbian pop star persona. 

At the end of the day, I might just be a sucker for a genre where flaws are baked into the experience. However, I was expecting a lesbian B movie, and I absolutely got one. What more could I honestly ask for? The masses may not understand what Honey Don’t! is going for or that it largely succeeds at it, and I doubt that it ever garners acclaim. But for those of us who are lesploitation aficionados, it is sure to cement its spot as a classic entry in the genre. I for one cannot wait for the third installment in the Coen/Cooke/Qualley lesbian trilogy, even if it is all but destined to be misunderstood.

7.5/10